THE STIGMA HAS TO GO
This not a call for help, I am OK. This is the beginning of my campaign to kill the stigma and embarrass the hell out of employers for their lack of training, support and shitty attitudes! I feel no / zero embarrassment for what happened to me. Here is the story of what many PTSD suffers experience, different but very similar!
My story in short: After 20 years of helping the sick and injured, being barfed on, threatened with all kind of weapons, cleaning up horrific scenes so bad I had to use a garden hose to wash the ambulance floor off, the deaths and more, I was lucky enough to win the PTSD award!
It rips it's victims apart inside. It destroys your family as they have to stand by and watch helplessly..... Watching the most important people in your life crying all the time. Because they can't handle the chaos anymore, which doesn't help with the trauma. They live in constant fear they may do or say the wrong thing. Or wake up from yet another one of my explosive night mares, Victims of PTSD find themselves feeling they have no purpose in life, scatter brained, forgetful as hell, unable to get anything done, constant fear that something really bad is going to happen, uncontrollable anger over silly things, isolating, drinking, panic attacks, fear of going to sleep for fear of vivid night mares so the whole house is woken from me yelling or screaming and avoiding situations in fear of triggering yet another flash back.
The very real and common suicidal thoughts, are sometimes daily, weekly or none at all and unfortunately some just can't stand it anymore and succeed. Being treated by some fellow medics like you have leprosy, retarded or just a plane wimp. People who were your co-workers and your friends completely turn their backs on you. To make it worse, having your career and identity torn away from you, loss of pride and on and on.
To be left wondering how you will support your family, pay your mortgage, as insurance companies play their games. No wonder so many first responders, veterans, hospital staff, suddenly have bizarre accidents, but are they really accidents?
I for one will find the light again and get back into the drivers seat of my life, but many won't.
To my many friends, I thank you and do need you. I recently posted a messed up post saying PTSD rocks. Many friends came out of the wood work and were getting ready to drive for hours to help me. You guys rock!
To the ones that have shunned me , to hell with ya, I just hope you NEVER have to walk in my boots!
The sigma must stop !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you - Niels
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PTSD is DONE to you, it does not DEFINE you...